Thank You For Coming: Thank You For Stating The Truth!

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Honestly, this one turned out to be much better than my expectations.  It was fun,  witty and highly relatable. Bhumi is my favourite from the current lot of actresses.  She can make any role come alive. In order to make the review brief and spoiler free, let me jump right at it.  #Notallmen were highly offended with this movie and termed it as ‘pseudofeminist’.  Well, of course they would be offended because somebody just made the movie citing the truth:

“70 percent of women in the world never orgasm their whole lives, because 90 percent men don’t know how to do it!”

Natasha Rastogi ji’s character who plays Bhumi (Kanika’s mother) and a gynecologist delivers this line with such ease. She adds, ‘Yeh problem mardon ki hoti to bawaal mach ho gaya hota’. I am glad finally someone said this in a mainstream Bollywood movie.  It reminded me of Maja Maa where Simone Singh’s character mentions clitoris. Sadly, I knew from the time I watched the trailer of the movie ‘who’ would have given Kanika an orgasm.  I am sure most women watching the movie would have guessed that (unfortunately 😊).

I have seen reviews by angry men commenting that ‘feminist’ movies should be about women’s education and employment and not about sexual desires and fulfilment. This really makes me laugh.

I am sorry to disclose this to men but women have much higher standards now than they had in the past.  They want more from their lives and their partners.  So stop telling women what they should live for, strive for and fight for.  Such men are so insecure that once women realize they don’t have much to offer, they will be left alone unless they actually work hard to  keep a woman happy.

She is the most confused character!

This was another criticism.  Yes, Bhumi’s character was confused.  A lot of women are confused about love, relationship, sex, security – the desire to enjoy the thrill of a passionate relationship versus the security and stability of marrying someone ‘on time’. There is nothing wrong with being confused and exploring and making mistakes. Men enjoy movies like Masti which show married men cheating but a  woman exploring with different men (not at the same time) is a very scary thought for them.

The haters said they were not sure whether the movie was on orgasm or relationship or marriage.  Well,  if people do not understand that it is all connected then that’s just sad.  What would they have preferred – a two hour movie only talking about how majority of women do not orgasm?

Other things I liked in the movie

I loved the fact that a 32 year old Bhumi had friends who had 12-13 year old kids.  And the kid called her ‘Maasi’ which is what kids call their mothers’ closest friends in North India. I have seen movies with 30 something women being playing ‘Didis’ to kids and it is ridiculous. I also liked the whole track of the young girl’s privacy getting violated and how she and Bhumi deal with it.  The whole graph of Bhumi’s character was also well shown – from being a young woman being shamed for being a virgin, to being shamed for being ‘thandi’, to be shamed for being scandalous. It is true that men shame women for not having sex,  for having sex but not showing interest (without realizing that they are totally incompetent to generate interest), for having too much sex.

There is no right way of being sexual if you are a woman!

Sadly, with all the risks that women undergo to have sex,  the reward is not that great!

“The movie has been made to shame men”

 I watched a Youtube video of a highly misogynistic reviewer and he had concluded the above. He added that Bhumi’s character shamed her fiancé who pre-ejaculated.

This is not true. She did not shame him.  She actually hugged him.  She did not utter a word of humiliation nor did she express any disgust.  It was probably this man’s personal view that oh! Cuming too soon is shameful and now the woman would make fun of me.  How dare she! He must have been so stuck in his head that he probably failed to see what was actually happening in the movie but saw what he believed should have happened.

What has patriarchy got to do with it?

Another criticized scene is when the school girls say that want to smash patriarchy. They say random things like they don’t want to wear a bra or touch an elder’s feet.

Patriarchy has got everything to do with how women are brought up, how they are treated and how they feel about themselves which affects how they perceive themselves and the choices they make in life, the relationships they have.

I recently read somewhere that when teddy bears were introduced, the torchbearers of patriarchy were threatened that if women started loving teddy bears more, they would STOP wanting to have kids!!

The threat is becoming real.  Women are now choosing to be child free, husband free and bad sex free!! Women are now realizing that they can actually lead a life free of patriarchal misery.  Yes, we need more movies like this.  We need more women like this.

PS. My favourite line from the movie:

Bhumi’s boyfriend ‘Tumne kaha that sex is not everything’

Bhumi – Gareebon ko to kehna padega na money is not everything!!

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