I have received a message from a male friend asking why women suddenly block men. According to him, he had not done anything vulgar or indecent to deserve this treatment from a woman. The woman was someone he has interacted with before, and met a few times. He is not someone she ‘met online’ so he is all the more upset. His ego is very hurt.
I am not sure what happened in his case, and I would never know. Therefore, I have decided to write a general article. I have also blocked men so I can share what I know with the hope that this gentleman can learn something. There is a possibility that it may not be the outcome, and I may get trolled. But it’s fine. Let me say it. I think a lot of people need to hear the following.
These are my top reasons for blocking (not all) men:
- Messages late at night.
If you are not very close to a woman, please refrain from striking up a conversation at night. If she doesn’t respond or responds in monosyllables please take the hint and stop. If your excuse for texting at night is that it is the only time you are ‘free’ after office then it is very lame reason.
- Hi… Good morning.. Goodnight.. Dear.. Had dinner?
These messages are totally unnecessary. There is no need to send a Goodnight message to someone who doesn’t even talk to you! Also, the only people ‘dear’ to me are my family. Isn’t this one obvious?
- Nice DP! Looking gorgeous!
Be careful of your choice of words and the frequency of such messages. Are you friends with this girl? Do you talk to her regularly? If not, then refrain from commenting on her looks, even if it is a compliment.
- Don’t contact through all mediums
We live in tech savvy world. You know if someone has read your message. If there is still no response, there is a chance that they have missed it. There is also a possibility that they are busy. Your worst fear may also be true – She is not interested in responding. Let it go. Please do not try to reach her on other platforms. You have nothing important to say anyway, so why get so needy! Special mention for texting ‘??’. There is no need to send ‘??’ if you are not getting a response. It is very annoying!
- No response? Let it go!!
You will know if a girl wants to talk to you or not through the magic of response!! If she is not responding, let it go. It happens to me sometimes, that I message someone and they don’t respond. It is okay. Don’t send messages like ‘Why are you not replying,’ ‘What did I do wrong?’ . You are not texting someone for work, and nobody owes you a response. If you are confronting someone and forcing them to respond, then be prepared for a strong reaction from them (including blocking).
- Double meaning jokes, memes,
This should be self-explanatory.
Finally, here is what it is. Since society places the responsibility on women for ‘inviting’ and ‘encouraging’ men, sometimes we block ahead of caution. You may not have crossed the line yet or you may be on the borderline. Yet, we use better judgment. That is when we feel that blocking is better as we are scared about what may come up next. We want to save ourselves the embarrassment. There is no warning unfortunately. We are not going to give prior notice, ‘Hey I am planning to block you, but before that, let me give you some time to reverse the creepiness and discomfort you have put me through!’
It doesn’t work that way. We decide not to engage further as it would only make things worse.
Not fair? Don’t blame us. Blame other men who have talked / sent rubbish to us because of whom we prefer to be careful.
And lastly, if you have had a relationship or rapport with a woman in the past, then that is what it is. The past. It does not give you a lifetime license of texting, joking, flirting and demanding replies.
Hope this answers my friend’s question! Please feel free to add to the list in the comments!