A close friend of mine had pre-booked two tickets for a movie at a theatre near her place. (Let’s call her Preeti). Much to her disappointment, her companion ditched her due to some some last-minute work. A couple of hours before the show, she made some frantic calls and messages on Whatsapp groups to ‘donate’ her two tickets. Given the distance and time constraints in a big city, it is not surprising that nobody was able to make it on such a short notice. The tickets were wasted.
I asked Preeti why she could not go for the movie alone. She wanted to watch it. The theatre is walking distance from her house. She said that she did not want to go alone. It would be too weird. People would be staring at her. She would feel too conscious. I told her that it is a multiplex in a mall. Not some single screen theatre from 20 years back.
You need to be more brave in life! I said to her.
Now, Preeti is a girl who has been staying away from her family since college. She has an MBA degree. She lives with flat mates and is fairly independent. She does not remember the last time she borrowed money from her parents. She pays all her bills. No wonder, she became defensive at my statement. She said that she has traveled alone in an airplane / train. Isn’t that brave enough? There are so many people who do not even do that.
I told her that doesn’t count. She does not have an option there. What would she do? Not go home for Diwali / Christmas break? Or search for people with the same hometown in office and align travel plans as per their leave balance?
I asked a couple of more friends. Here are few other situations we discussed:
- No friends have showed up at office
- Have lunch alone at your desk
- Try sitting with some other group for today
- Go early for lunch so that there are less people
- Skip lunch
- Just go alone!
- Friend’s birthday coming up. No company available to go shopping
- Keep asking all the people in phonebook until someone agrees
- End up gifting after her birthday
- Pool in with someone who already has a gift
- Just go alone!
- Original example. Planned to go for movie, tickets booked. Companion ditched last minute
- Ask the neighboring Aunty / housemaid to join
- Curse your friend, make him / her feel guilty and stay home
- Try selling it in black
- Just go alone!
I think you all know by now, I have always exercised the last option. Sometimes, because nobody was available. Sometimes by choice. It doesn’t matter. I have ended up enjoying being by myself. I have never regretted the time. It has always felt good and refreshed. (And not lonely and pathetic)!
Bottom line is, if I have company great. If I don’t, it will not stop me from doing something!
So, to all the ladies – If you ever find yourself in such situations, don’t be afraid to spend time by yourself. Give it a try at least. Don’t outright reject the thought.
Who knows, you may end up feeling very empowered and independent! 🙂