I went to the beauty parlour yesterday to get a haircut. Just a haircut. Nothing more. After calling five salons where the “senior stylist” and “creative consultants” were charging a bomb I decided to go to the salon I used to visit regularly. Now, I moved so this is quite far from my new place. Nonetheless, I thought I may go for a long drive with my partner. This was theoretically a good idea as it was raining and hubby was playing nice 90’s songs on Bluetooth. Yes songs like Aafreen Aafreen, and Muqala Muqabla Laila o Laila make me very very happy. Was happily singing alone those songs until I came across this gentleman.
There is a motorcycle also tied on top of the roof of the car. This person thinks it is okay to drive like this on the highway in the rain. Anyway, moving on…
So I reached the parlour. Now the stylist came to take a look at my hair. I told him I need a haircut.
“Madam, your hair has breakage. Go for smoothening.”
“I have already got smoothening done twice!! My hair has become very thin! I don’t want smoothening! See how much hairfall has happened! Just a haircut please”.
“Hair fall not because of smoothening Madam. You are not maintaining!”
“I am using the same professional shampoo and conditioner you made me buy last time.”
“Well madam, your smoothened hair is fine. It is so smooth. It is your fresh hair that is growing that is curly.” He lifted a strand of my hair. Magically at that moment the end of the hair strand stood still, and the little hair he was holding pulled itself out obediently. “See Madam. Problem with your original hair growing back. Not with smoothened hair”.
“But if you smoothen you will smoothen the entire hair right? You will not selectively smoothen the hair that has just started growing?”
“Yes madam. It will all become smooth and silky”
“I don’t want smoothening. I want a haircut. Please do the best you can with it, some layers to create volume”.
“At least get hair spa madam.”
I got convinced for the hair spa. Now a different guy started doing the hair spa. He had overheard my conversation with the previous hair stylist.
“Madam, which shampoo are you using?”
“Matrix”
“Which one?” He gave me two options. One started with Bio something.
“I don’t remember. I usually buy the Orange one , if it is not available, white one”.
“Madam, you should not buy the white one. It is for dandruff. You do not have dandruff.”
“These shampoos are not available in all supermarkets. Whatever is available, I take”.
“White one is also good Madam. But you should use this one.”
He picked up another bottle. I looked at the price and told him I did not want it. So he decided to go back to convincing me on smoothening.
“There is an offer going on Madam. 50 percent off.”
“Even if you do it for free, I don’t want it.”
I guess that did it. He did not mention smoothening again.
“Madam your hair has become frizzy. You don’t use hair oil?”
“I do. Just did oil massage yesterday.” I replied proudly.
“Which one?”
“Parachute coconut oil.”
“Do you heat it?”
“I do not heat it. But when I get a massage from a beautician, she usually heats it.”
“You should not heat it madam!”
“Actually you guys had told me to NEVER put oil after getting smoothening. But I still do.”
“That is right Madam. You should not use oil.”
I wanted to ask him why he asked me about oil in the first place, that too the brand and heating and minute details.
Now we were off to the hair cut. The only thing I had asked him to do was to do a cut that would fake some volume. Given my thin hair, this was quite a challenge. Nonetheless he did a decent job and was pleased with his work.
In an attempt to fool me, he backcombed my hair and lifted half of it in a puff while bringing the rest of it in the front from my side. He told me how versatile my new hair cut was as I could try this hairdo too.
I wondered when would I use this hairstyle…..Retro Bollywood party?
Then he removed the puff and put my hair back to normal. He did a centre parting showing me the layers. He was happy with himself and said that it has added volume. I asked him to bring a mirror and show me from the back.
There was no hair in the back, because he had taken all the hair in the front to fake the volume! I looked at him. He took the entire hair backwards to show me the shape from the back. Now I had no hair in the front. Just the first layer which was making me look like an ape.
He realized what he had done and moved the entire hair to the front again.
“Thank you” I said.
I was somewhat proud of myself for not getting convinced for a smoothening again. This was a day after refusing to get upper lip done. Maybe I should start a fashion blog. But my blog will be about how to say no to makeup and hair bullies!!
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