A friend of mine wrote a lovely article about how a woman was being pressurized to give up her job to take care of the child once her maternity leave was over. She made her husband and mother-in-law realize that the joys of parenthood do not discriminate between mother and father. The husband stepped in, and decided to be a stay at home dad while the woman resumed work after her maternity leave. In this case, the woman was earning more than her husband and it made no sense to her that she should give up her career.
I have also written about how men should participate in the household work and parenting. “Help out” would be a wrong term because it makes it sound like it is not their responsibility. Ideally, it is a shared partnership and both of them should contribute equally.
But what if the man stays at home full time while the woman works? Is it just the society that looks down upon that kind of an arrangement?
Do stay-at home dads feel under-valued in a society where “providing” has been a man’s prime responsibility?
A lot of men complain that the pressure to provide and support is solely on them. If they choose to prioritize family over career, this would also be frowned upon by their wives. There would be taunts, and comparisons with other men who are ‘doing so well’.
When we can appreciate women working full time, why can’t be appreciate men staying home full time and taking care of the home?
Feminism helps women and men because it helps break gender stereotypes. Yesterday, the last contestant on KBC was a lady who works while her husband takes care of the home, and their child. Mr. Bachhan applauded him. He said it is great that this man “allowed” his wife to achieve her dreams!
I was disappointed. I thought this whole “allowing’ business was done away with Farhan Akhtar in the movie, ‘Dil Dhadakne Do!’ Anyway, that is not the point I am trying to make in this article. I want to ask women would they prefer that their husbands become stay at home dads or household husbands? What would be their reasons?
My question is:
Would you like to have a house – husband? Which one of the following is the closest to your view?
1. Wow! I would love to have a house-husband! Where can I find such a guy!
2. I think husband and wife should both work and share household responsibilities. One person staying at home full time does not appeal to me.
3. I would not judge anyone. I respect househusbands and housewives. But personally, I would not want a house-husband for myself because I feel it would lead to ego clashes, insecurities, self-esteem issues and unnecessary pressure on me to excel in my career!
4. Men should be earning! Women already go through a lot of physical pain during pregnancy and childbirth ! It is not fair! This kind of arrangement should not be encouraged!
© 2017, Tanvi Sinha. All rights reserved.