If is meant to be it will happen Vs Make it happen – Dilemma of a Single Woman

My mother passed the ringing phone to my while I was working on my laptop.

Ravish Tinder:
flashed the contact.

Mom: What kind of name is Ravish Tinder?

Me: Tinder is a dating app.

Mom: Dating app!! You watch Crime Patrol. Don’t you know how dangerous these things are?

Me: In a country where we marry strangers through shaadi.com, I don’t think we should be too concerned!

I felt very satisfied with my response, as if I won. But did I?

There are broadly two kinds of marriages in India – arranged marriages where very determined well-wishers find us a match with astronomical perfection or love marriages in which people magically meet like a fairystyle through divine interventions.

Finding someone through dating apps fall in neither! Not traditional enough like shaadi.com and not natural enough like DDLJ.

The truth is I was quite skeptical about joining a dating app. There is always the extreme fear of meeting a psychopath / creep or the lesser yet disappointing experience of meeting someone uninteresting / annoying not worth the effort.

As much as I would love to imagine that the whole universe will conspire to make me meet my soulmate, reality is I am a 28 year old working woman, who meets limited people. My social circles are dominated by men who are already married or committed. The ones who are not committed are not committed for a reason. They loathe commitment!

We as women should become more open to the idea of finding a partner for ourselves. It is not our parents’ responsibility. Our parents do not know what kind of men we find interesting / attractive. We should spare them the pain of scrutinizing and exchanging profiles with another set of equally clueless yet harassed parents.

There is nothing wrong with the desire to seek a partner, and these mediums are quite relevant in today’s time. And it need not always be about dating. While some apps are more marriage oriented such as Aisle, others like Floh could create a great platform for making friends. Technology has provided us the means to connect to people from different spheres of life who we could otherwise never have found.

Whether I meet Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, or encounter a bunch of frogs and no prince, for now the thought to ‘make it happen’ is very empowering!

© 2016 – 2017, Tanvi Sinha. All rights reserved.

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